This has been an interesting week. About mid week my wife had horrible bloating and cramps. Those lasted about three days and Weds. was a hard day. I haven't seen my wife in that type of discomfort in a long time. The chemo is going good, as long as she keeps on taking the nausea meds. The radiation of coarse was the reason for the uterus to cramp and fight but she has been lucky to not have burns yet. She is starting to pass some mucus blood and has been very constipated which is not what we thought would be happeing we thought diarrea but that may be on the horizon. I think that the constipation is results of the nausea meds. I was really feeling good about everything till her sister said something about one of her frieds that lsot the battle to breast cancer. It placed both of us in a sour mood this weekend good thing we see the docs tomorrow they always build us back up. It feels good to be 1/3 done and after this weekend we will be half done. I do know that end of the week is when most of the typical side effects kick in, I hope we are ready.
I do have a couple of questions. I spoke to a neighbor that beat stage four lymphoma and has been clean for five years now. which made us feel good but the issue he said is that we really should travel 50 miles to the Huntsman Cancer Institute. It brought doubt back into if we have the right team for my wife. I do feel that the treatment plan is very standard and cook book which means that it has been proven, but what is the advantage of going to a Cancer Institute. I think the one year in Salt Lake is nationally ranked, but I'm not sure what that means and if it truely means anything. The hospital that we are going to has a partnership with the Huntsman Cancer Institute and that the radiation division carries the name and that both her radiation doctor and oncolgist are certified by them. Sorry for the ramble but I just wonder. I hate to second guess but that's part of the desease. He also mentioned that we should both get depression meds. but I have never been a fan of them and wonder if I'm making a mistake their.
Thank you guys for taking time to read this, I really do pray that we will beat this and I respect all of you for sharing some very personnel information on this blog as it has helped me.
I hope she stays hydrated, and takes stool softener and keeps the bowels moving; with Miralax or some other mild laxative, if constipation or hard stools are the problem. As time went on I used/use magnesium oxide 300mg every day. Some people tend to get constipated. She made need to go off the recommended diet, if troubled with constipation. I got to eat all the fruit and vegetables I wanted; I just have that system. (all drugs do make me constipated)
I still resist taking anti-depressants. Instead I depend on sleep, coffee, and walking 1-2 miles a day. I know now, if I start getting depressed, it's because of neglecting sleep and exercise.
I hope you guys are taking really good care of yourselves and plan a treat vacation for after.
Big hugs, Jean
As far as antidepressants - yes! My doc prescribed them to me on day 1 - Ativan. They will help you get through things and help her sleep. Do not hesitate to ask for this.
I've never been on an anti depressant before but when I received the initial news my gynecologist prescribed me xanax for the high levels of anxiety I was experiencing. The xanax calms me and puts me to sleep pretty quickly, it's been of huge help. I've used it for my scans as well. I believe my husband and I will seek counseling in the months ahead, the stress has been overwhelming, and the fear can mount. I've received this advice regarding counseling from several couples in our area that have been impacted by cancer diagnosis' as well, they've benefited from it. We want to be as healthy as we can for the kids, including our mental health.
Much like Jean, it hurts me when others share their stories about folks that have lost their battles with cancer, and also increases my fears. I much prefer to hear about those that are thriving and surviving and I like to use them as inspiration. I find myself seeking some control in a situation in which it feels you don't have any...I've decided (for me) that making dietary changes gives me some of that control I seek...we do a lot of juicing vegetables now that my gut health is better, I get more fruits and vegetables in me than ever before, I've cut out as much sugar as I can, only drink water and tea, etc etc. These are choices that make me feel like I'm doing something. It may seem extreme or unnecessary to others but not to me. Prayer has also been of huge help to my husband and I too. Our faith has been strengthened...allow yourself to lean on Him.
The treatments are hard but you will get through them as a family. Sending prayers!
Its those survivor stories that help get us through those bad days. What bothered me the most about her sister is that it was her identical twin that said it. Her excuess was that she was keeping us grounded or keeping it real. GRRRRRRRRRRR. I do that enough on my own and don;t need to hear it from others. It's a little ironic as after my wife was scoped and we discovered the tumor we called her twin sister to get our kids and keep them as we were going to have a long night getting scans at the hospital, were the twin has had similar health issues we told her to go get a scope. Well two weeks later they found an advanced pulp in the same location as my wife's tumor. The same GI doctor mentioned that she was a few years behind my wife and good that she came in. I only share this as man she could be grateful that she is not going through this trial in life as we are and add a lot of positive vibs to the situation if she wanted in-place of trying to keep it real.
Lastly I agree faith and prayer are big components of this. Leaning on Him has been one of the ways I have been able to get through this. I pray for a miracle daily and hope that I can have the faith to receive it.
As for your sister in law, it's rather incredible she was able to go in for a scope and find what they did, she is very fortunate to have had this forewarning. I've learned that people deal with the grief associated with a diagnosis in many different ways these past 5 months, some say things that feel insensitive, others have words that are so uplifting and kind, and some say very little, etc. I'm sure her twin is very scared and has loving intentions, try to give her some grace. Any maybe you can pull her aside and tell her that right now you need her to be as positive and upbeat as possible, a cheerleader for her sister, while you make it through the treatments? The negative comments can just push you over the edge.
Lastly, try to also have faith in the doctors and the treatment plan (it sounds like you really like them which is wonderful)...the plan has helped many people on this blog successfully. When I read about how many of them are NED and continue to have positive scans and test results, it makes me so happy. I feel joy for them as individuals and feel positivity for my own future. Keep the faith.
My husband, Brad, and I have talked about you and your wife and we both find it very admirable that you've sought out support on this blog. This blog has been a blessing to us. I hope it's helpful to you as well!
As for not going to the large cancer institute, please know that many of us, including me, were treated at local hospitals and cancer centers and we're still here. I never gave thought to going anywhere else and was very blessed to have wonderful doctors. It sounds like your wife's doctors are well-trained and since they have a connection to the Huntsman Cancer Institute, I'm sure they are using the same protocol, which is standard.
Please know that I send good thoughts and prayers for you both. You will get through this!
I was given some anxiety meds that helped me sleep at night those first few weeks post diagnosis. I am not a fan of them either but it help me sleep during that time. I went back and forth with constipation and diarrhea and would have to regulate what I was taking between magnesium and miralax and imodium. I continue to have both of them available..... It's such a fine balance. Thougts and prayers for you!!
The "nice" thing (not that there really is one) about this cancer is that the treatment is fairly straight forward and standardized. If you trust your docs, put the woulda, coulda, shoulda's out of your mind. You will kill yourself wondering what if....
As far as depression meds, everyone is different ... keep that in mind no matter the advice you get ... we are all different and we all react to stuff in different ways. Some people may need depression meds, others need to talk, others may need to blog it out. Do what is right and feels right to you. It is common for anxiety to pop up and for docs to prescribe anti-anxiety meds. I used them when it got so overwhelming that I couldn't sleep. Now, the anxiety is under control (for the most part) and I only occasionally use Ativan when I can't turn my mind off at night.
Sending you good vibes and virtual hugs!!!
And yes, keep hydrated! Even if you have to do it a tablespoon at a time..
Good luck! Positive thoughts and prayers headed your way......💪🏽